All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
