whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
