I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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