no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
