i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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