oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
