Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
