there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I would fuck him just for his dog
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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