i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I pour the whiskey from now on
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