Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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