I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
