barbara walters just said penis...
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
