i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
