Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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