fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
So vagazzling was a success
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