Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
