She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
