is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
