So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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