I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
