4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize