when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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