dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
im on a boat
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