So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
