I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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