At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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