I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
