sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
