Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
