she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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