my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize