im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
