can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
