i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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