Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
