ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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