So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Everyone says I win the strip club
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Damn victory sex feels great
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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