Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
