either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
