so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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