I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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