yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
