I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
