Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
