You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
worst night to have a conscience
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
