I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
