If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
