Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
My cat gives me a boner
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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