we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
