The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize