Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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