You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
