Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
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