let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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