note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
