Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I forgot wine drunk hurts
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
