got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
