the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm determined to sit on that face.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
