It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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