My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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