drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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