We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize