drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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