If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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